My back hurts. Well, not technically. But, there's an area that feels like my back but less superficial. It's kind of always been that way. December has arrived and I'm eagerly awaiting my discharge. I gave myself until around mid-December to feel OK again, to feel confident and secure that my mind and body are ready to pick up where we left off – several months ago. I'm looking forward to returning to my studio, with new energy and positive vibrations. I'm also welcoming a change of scenery that would uproot me from my Downtown abode to...something else. Something better. But, things are getting better.
Today I finally completed another course on my road to earning a professional certificate in Data Analysis. "Just three more to go." One day, I'll think of a better way to treat myself than rewarding my palate with junk food and sugary drinks. But for now, I'll enjoy the moment. It's been a challenge staying focused or finding the energy to keep going. Every day runs into the next and now the meals are starting to repeat themselves. I'm on the verge of spoiling my love of garlic bread because a mediocre version of it continually accompanies most dinners here. Eggs are soon to follow.
Given the circumstances, I have to give myself a pat on the back. After all, it's not just my own mind that distracts me. It's the nocturnal screaming, nurse interruptions, and the occasional blackout. This is why today was important. I accomplished what I set out to do and it feels good because now I'm inching closer to the end of my studies and a start in another. I haven't forgotten about you, behavioral science course. I'm also looking forward to shedding some layers of this Imposter Syndrome that has followed me since I declared I wanted to be a "data guy".
I can't sleep either. The thought of going home occupies much of my free thinking. And the anxiousness that comes along with it is just as strong. I better put that directionless energery to good use. Who knowns, maybe I can complete another course before I go home.
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